I Didn’t Go to the Edges

Friday I attended The Shift event hosted by Maven Miara and Pastor Juanita Rasmus, and one of the exercises Pastor Juanita guided us through was deceptively simple. We had three options. I chose the one that I wanted to do.  Go figure…a time to create.

We were given markers and a blank sheet of paper. The instructions were to close our eyes, use our non-dominant hand, put pen to paper, don’t lift it, and just let it move. Stopping only when it felt like time to stop.

Non-dominant hand. Eyes closed. Pen down the whole time. Out of my comfort zone a bit.

In my mind, I already knew what I was going to draw. Hearts. I’ve been on a heart kick lately.  Fresh off Valentines, Couples Connection, thinking about love, connection, stretching, healing; so hearts felt natural.

The first time, I thought I was making these big, bold hearts. In my mind, I was reaching all four corners of the paper. I could “see” it clearly. When I opened my eyes? I hadn’t. The marker was drying out and the lines were faint, so I did it again.

This time I was intentional. I stretched my arm further. I even pushed my hand toward the edges of the paper, thinking, okay, this time I’ll hit the corners. Maybe I’ll even go off the paper. Again, eyes closed. Again, I was sure I had filled the page. I opened my eyes. I had not.

And in that moment, I thought, Well… I would’ve liked to use all the space allotted to me, but I didn’t. No biggie.

But it was a biggie.

Later, during the time of sharing, one woman talked about how her drawing went off the page. She said she was okay with that. To her, it meant God was showing her there’s more. That hit me. Because I didn’t go off the page.

Not because I couldn’t. Not because I wasn’t allowed. Not because there wasn’t more space. But because I didn’t go far enough.

And suddenly it became clear — this isn’t about God limiting me. It’s not even about other people limiting me. I limit me.

In my mind, I’m stretching to the corners. In reality, I’m playing smaller than I think. There is more available to me. More space. More impact. More reach. More abundance. More love. More risk. More expansion.

But I stop short. That realization was sobering. Eye-opening. Necessary.

Before that realization, we were asked to title our drawing and write from its voice. I titled mine Real Love, and this is what I wrote:

I am beautifully messy. I come to take up space. I am intertwined with your being. I am everywhere. I’m not easy to ignore and I ignore no one. I am available to all. I am always around. I connect people. I have been and always will be. I am recognizable in all languages. I speak without words. I am love.

When I read that back now, it feels even more layered.

“I come to take up space.” Do I?

“I am everywhere.” Am I allowing myself to be?

“I connect people.” Yes. That part is true. That part is deeply true.

Love stretches. Love expands. Love doesn’t apologize for taking up space. And maybe that’s the invitation. To stretch. To actually reach the corners. To risk going off the page. To stop assuming I’ve gone far enough.

Because maybe I haven’t. Maybe there is more. And maybe it’s time I stop closing my eyes to it.

There is more “space” available to you than you think. Reach for it.

Creatively yours,

Naana 💜